A new web site and a new blog site ...

I've got some very exciting news ~ I've just launched a web site for my coaching and energy healing business, AuroraSana ... www.aurorasana.com

www.aurorasana.com

The beauty about my new web site is that it also houses a blog ... so I've imported all of these posts and will, from now on, focus primarily on blogging there. Here is a direct link:  http://www.aurorasana.com/blog/

You can also join me on Twitter (  https://twitter.com/#!/AuroraSana ) or Facebook .... ( http://www.facebook.com/AuroraSana.HealingandTransformation )

Thanks for checking this blog out over the past year ... and I look forward to connecting with you all on my new site.

Many blessings!

Creating resolutions you can actually achieve

Welcome to a new year, a new beginning, a time when most of us decide that this year, we’re going to do things differently, that we’re going to achieve some long-held goal that we’ve never been able to achieve prior to this. But this year, it’s going to be different. We’re going to be different.

This collective enthusiasm for change is contagious – and can fuel us – so let’s first congratulate ourselves for taking that initial step. Recognizing a need for change is very powerful!

However, I know from experience that it’s also important to recognize that most of us are champion wheel-spinners – despite all of our research, planning, conversations and declarations, we ultimately choose to stay within the limits of what we know … and thus embed ourselves deeper into an existence that frustrates us and blocks us from expressing our divine self.

As a coach and a member of clergy, I’d love to see all of us succeed at our goals (and thus be happy and at peace); therefore I feel it’s important to understand the mechanisms for making change, so that we can succeed and not just spin our wheels.

I’m going to break down what I’ve come to learn through my experiences as clergy and coach into three posts. In this post, I will cover some causes of our wheel-spinning and an important step in goal-attainment, which is Ownership of the Issue.

Addressing the emotional core

As a fundamental “Type A” personality, I used to think that the way to succeed was to Do Do DO ~ to plan and plot and think and intellectually problem-solve … but the challenge with that method was that I was approaching my goal from the conscious mind. I wasn’t addressing “what lies beneath” – which was my complete lack of self-confidence.

It was only recently, through my spiritual studies, that I realized attaining a goal is not about what I was doing – but that my results were based on how I feel. We are driven by deep-seated feelings that either propel us toward success or submarine our efforts.

To attain achievement, we have to break emotionally driven, destructive patterns; thus we have to address our emotional core.

So, how do we invite success into our lives?

Ownership of the issue we’re trying to address

When I was studying to become clergy, my teacher used to say, ”Own your shit.”* 

After I stopped giggling, I realized she was right on so many levels – not only do we need to own the wounded parts of ourselves, we need to own the fact that we are completely responsible for our behaviors, our reactions and the results we do and don’t produce in our world.

The longer we stay in a state of non-ownership, or “being the victim”, (i.e., blaming, making excuses, procrastinating, pitying ourselves), the longer we waste our time, alienate ourselves from our values and fritter away our potential.

Another one of my teachers likes to cite that the very first thing treatment programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, require people to do is declaratively own their situation:  “Hi, I’m Joe, and I’m an alcoholic.” 

Without ownership, we remain in denial (and I’m not talking about the river).

Freedom begins when we can say, “I may not like what’s happened but I can change it because I created it in the first place.”

In the next post, I will explore the next two facets of “achievement”:  Awareness and Benefits.

* This is why I love the Temple of Ara – we use lots of playfully ribald spiritual idioms.

Imagining a world where there are no mistakes

As I move through my coach training and certification process, I frequently hear my teachers saying that it is OK to make a mistake. To not worry about “getting it right”.  I heard this a lot, too, when I was going through my initial Reiki training.

This advice strikes a chord deep within me since, as a double Virgo who is nearly obsessed with getting things to be perfect, I’ve been struggling with giving myself permission to make a "mistake". So in a moment of recognition, I decided I needed to understand why the chord was struck in the first place. I realized I wasn’t struggling with taking a risk, or being OK with taking a risk, but with this concept called A Mistake.

Take a look at these synonyms:

Ø    Error

Ø    Fault

Ø    Blunder

Ø    Gaffe

Ø    Inaccuracy

Ø    Misstep

How do those words make you feel?

I don’t know about you but I feel like crawling into a hole.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in my spiritual work is that there is no concept of right and wrong. Viewing actions, behaviors, and emotions as either right or wrong keeps us stuck in feelings of fear, guilt and shame, of judgment. As a result, we go into a state of energetic resistance, which then blocks us from achieving our desired results .… To take it a step further, right/wrong thinking blocks us from seeing the Divine within.

The word Mistake is laden with negative energy. So when I tell myself, “It’s OK to make a mistake” it means that such a thing exists and I am undoubtedly going to commit a WRONG, incorrect, unwise, or unfortunate act caused by bad judgment. That I should have known better.

Wow! No wonder people are frightened to step out of the comfort zone – who would want to invoke that energy, even if they are encouraged “to be ok with it”.

New Perspectives on Mistakes

One of my favorite anecdotes about mistakes and “failing” involves Thomas Edison. When asked to comment on how many times he failed to invent the light bulb, Edison stated that he did not fail but discovered a thousand ways to not build a light bulb. To quote: “I never failed once – It just happened to be a 2000-step process.” He confirms my view that the path to success is actually predicated upon all of the paths that lead to non-success – that our actions and decisions represent paths that lead to us to exploration. Sometimes the pathways don’t yield the desired result, but there are always lessons to be learned – lessons to be built upon, that lay a foundation of knowledge and wisdom.

Transforming the Energy

One of the exercises I do with my Reiki clients is to create an intention for the session so the energy healing can not only resolve what’s going on in the moment but also help manifest what is desired. The goal is to focus on what we want to happen, but in the present tense and in a positive way. For example, we focus on “I feel great – I am completely healthy” as opposed to focusing on “I am not sick with the flu”. I have been told the brain cannot process negatives so if we say “I am not sick with the flu”, the brain interprets it as “I am sick with the flu”. To focus on the negative, even in an effort to transform it, is to remain bound by it.

So I invite you to release yourself completely from the chains of Mistakes, and in thus doing so, invoke creativity, and invite explorations beyond what you initially imagined.

The Winter Solstice - The Sun King Returns and Asks Us to Reflect, Review and Renew

In my spiritual tradition, the Tradition of Ara, we are getting ready to celebrate the Winter Solstice holiday, a night when, it is said, the Goddess gives birth to the God. On this night, our indigenous European ancestors celebrated the rebirth of the Oak King, the Sun King ~ the Giver of Life that warms the frozen Earth. From here on in, the days will become longer as the God grows into his full strength.

Winter Solstice In Nature

As the Wheel of the Year turns, we mark the distance we’ve come since the autumn equinox, where day initially equals night but quickly gives way to more darkness. Winter Solstice marks a crucial part of the natural cycle, where the night is longest, darkness is at its maximum ~ but there is hope as the light gradually increases. In a real sense, the sun begins its journey toward longer days, heralding the promise of new growth and renewal.

Winter solstice has been celebrated for so long in so many different parts of the world, not only because it’s a time of optimism for the coming spring, but because the physical sun symbolizes the spiritual sun. This is the time of spiritual rebirth, a reminder that an old path has come to an end, and a new one emerges.

Spiritual meanings of the Winter Solstice

For those of us who recognize the natural cycles of life and the year, indigenous European holidays, such as the Winter Solstice (also known as Yule in some traditions), are like rest stops that allow us, as travelers in time, to pause and reflect upon particularly auspicious moments on our journey. We can become quiet enough to see the design of our lives and begin to see the cycles of our life as part of a whole, part of a larger pattern. We can slow down for a moment and stop to get our bearings, to make sure we are moving forward, in a spiral motion, and not just going in an endless loop.

The holidays mark an opportune time to ask ourselves some important questions, such as:  ~ Where have we been?  ~ Where are we now?  ~ And toward what are we moving? Are we stuck in an endless circle and not moving forward or are we moving in a spiral? Is the path one of conscious movement or of unconscious patterns? 

A ritual to celebrate the Return of the Sun

Even though darkness now prevails, we know that this is the dreamtime, the time for germination. Just because we may not be aware of movement, that doesn’t mean nothing is happening. The structure of the next cycle of life, of our lives, is being formed.

Now is our opportunity to make this moment a ritual of conscious co-creation, to help us remember who we are, and why we are here.

What you’ll need:

• Lots and lots of candles, designating a large gold candle as the Sun Candle. The candles do not have to match.
• A cloth to cover your table or altar.
• Any other Winter Solstice inspired decorations if you’d like.
• Holiday cookies  :)

1.    Cover your table or altar with candles. Keep them unlit.

2.    In the center, place a sun candle on a riser, so it's above the rest.

3.    Turn off all the other lights, and face your altar. You can cast your circle now, if you’d like.

4.    Face the candles, and say a prayer of recognition, or chant, regarding the retreat of the darkness and the return of the sun. One of my favorites is to sing Here Comes the Sun King by the Beatles. : )

5.    Light the sun candle.

6.    Beginning with the candles closest to the sun candle, and working your way outward, light each of the other candles. As you light each one, say:   As the wheel turns, light returns.

7.    Repeat this until all the candles are lit. Take a moment to think about what the return of the sun means to you. Take a moment to answer these questions: ~ Where have you been?  ~ Where are you now?  ~ And toward what are you moving? Are you stuck in an endless circle and not moving forward or are you moving in a spiral? Is the path one of conscious movement or of unconscious patterns?

8.    Take the time to bask in the light of your candles, and in the awareness of your path, and eat some treats. When you're done, extinguish the candles from the outside of the altar working towards the center, leaving the sun candle for last.

** I posted this ritual to the Temple of Ara's page on Facebook, in case you would like to join others who are of like minds in this celebration.  www.facebook.com/templeofara 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of … DREAMS

Last week I wrote about how “going within” both literally and figuratively to a place of solitude triggered deep residing fears. Indeed my whole physical body was responding – my heart was pounding in my chest like I was running for my life and I was constantly short of breath. No amount of deep breathing exercises was helping.

The coincidental awareness spurred on by a writing assignment on silence brought me to a level of recognition … that I was afraid of my own Nothingness. The exercise was extraordinarily helpful … BUT…

Sometimes awareness is not enough for complete transformation or for complete healing.

I need to be in a wholesome relationship with myself so I knew that I needed to not only see those fears but engage with those fears. In my heart I needed to be present in the fear, embrace it … thus transform it. But how?

During a session with my own life coach (yes! Even coaches need coaches), I mentioned this experience to her, that the going within made me feel like I was running away, with my tail between my legs, that I was falling into despair. I told her that I recognized that life is a series of hills and valleys but the valleys were dark and scary places for me.

She asked me to relate to that feeling in a different way – physically – by enacting that fall. As I fell on to my bed, she asked me to describe the sensation. I discovered that by being aware that I was falling, my body felt softer, my knees were soft, my shoulders were soft … that my body was preparing for the descent, to cushion it, to protect it from a hard landing that would hurt. Then as I was lying on the bed, I realized how relaxed I felt and told her. She asked me to stay with that feeling, and from this perspective, to sit with the prospect of going into solitude. An image sprang to mind … of giant pine trees. And through those pine trees, I could see that within the valley existed a village. An active village, populated by people who were creating, working together happily to build things.

Here's my little Village in the Valley of Creativity. Perfect for the season, too.

As I lay on my bed, relating to my descent in this new way, this village became my Valley of Creativity. I felt so free, when I realized that my going within, my going downward, was really to access my creativity, which I can’t unearth as freely when I am busy trying to climb up the hills.

Even now, when I think of myself, here, alone in my kitchen, typing these words in the absolute silence (except for the ticking of my clock), I don’t view myself as a failure for my aloneness. I congratulate myself on my CREATING.

How can you change your perspective on your “nothingness”, to move to a place of being whole, of acceptance of who you are? I look forward to hearing more about your journeys.

Silence is Golden and Extremely Painful (using Silence and Solitude as the furnace of transformation)

I’ve been profoundly affected by a seemingly simple occurrence, triggered unknowingly by my comic book anthology group, as we get ready for our next publication. You see, we decided to work with a particular topic… and the topic we voted on is Silence.

As I started to contemplate how I could weave this topic into a short story, I uncovered not only lyrics to songs (Sounds of Silence, etc.) but that “going into the silence” is exactly what I’m experiencing in my life right now, on several levels. And that silence is probably one of the most difficult and yet most profound spiritual tools available to us.

I used to be the kind of person who worked a full time job, managed a volunteer program for a non-profit arts group AND simultaneously worked (volunteered) to promote/enlarge/expand a spiritual group that I had been studying with for quite some time. On top of that, I was riding (horses) very religiously. I rarely had time for myself, except to sleep.

But now, I’ve chosen to work toward the realization of dream (a successful coaching and energy healing practice as well as writing a graphic novel) which requires a lot of time in solitude, in contemplation, in learning, and in listening. As I write my graphic novel, I spend even more time in solitude, envisioning what obstacles my characters must over come and how they themselves must transform. I’m spending a great deal of time alone … and it feels downright uncomfortable.

I realize that my preoccupation with activities, while fruitful, were also preventing me from being present with myself. I never gave myself the opportunity to hear me, to see me, which then, of course, meant that I was not creating space for the divine to be present.

But even with this awareness, I’m still experiencing the discomfort, and sometimes am terrified by silence’s vast emptiness.

Why am I so afraid?

Silence strips away the distractions of life which anesthetize us from our feelings … that our lives are empty, that we perhaps are “nothing”, that our lives amount to nothing. It is this nothingness that I face in my seclusion, a feeling so abhorrent that I feel hopeless, insecure, despairing … everything in me wants to run to my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe (and prove to the world) that I am worth something.

An article written by Ministry Coach W. David Phillips, on Solitude as a Spiritual Practice, sums up exactly how I feel when I am in seclusion. “As soon as I decide to stay in my solitude, confusing ideas, disturbing images, wild fantasies, and weird associations jump about in my mind like monkeys in a banana tree. Anger and greed begin to show their ugly faces. I give long, hostile speeches to my enemies and dream lustful dreams in which I am wealthy, influential, and very attractive – or poor, ugly and in need of immediate consolation. Thus I try again to run from the dark abyss of my nothingness and restore my false self in all its vainglory.”

I’m comforted by the knowledge that all human beings are built with this void in our souls that we fill with people, noise, activities, possessions. Because it means that the “struggle” is meant to be. That it is part of the human process. That SILENCE is the gatekeeper to WISDOM and the path to wisdom is not meant to be easy. That is the very nature of our humanness. Our human condition.

I take comfort in the knowledge that to go into the silence is to find the place where the old self dies and the new self is reborn and re-emerges. To go into the silence is to greet oneself – naked and vulnerable and probably even broken – to begin the process of renewal. I realize that this process is needed if we are to develop a true friendship with ourselves, and hence the divine.

I understand the challenge is to persevere in my solitude, to stay in my place of retreat, until all of my demons grow tired of their roaring and lose their voice.

But how, without losing my mind?

Walking the path of your dreams, hand-in-hand with fear and self-doubt

"You've got to go out on a limb sometimes, because that's where the fruit is." - Will Rogers

I’m writing a comic book. Yes, you read that correctly. 

Seems a bit left field, doesn’t it? Especially on the heels of launching a transformational coaching/energy healing practice (and leaving a “safe” job in the photography business).

But what is life if you are not pursuing your dreams? Why are you here on this planet if not working toward the expression of who you are? If the primary energy of the universe is love, then aren’t you honoring love when you pursue what matters to you?

When I was recuperating from surgery that cured me from cancer, I realized that I wasn’t fully expressing myself … I always had horses in my life (a huge dream for me) and my spiritual practices but what else? What else did my heart yearn for? If my time on this planet is now marked as limited, what was I going to do with it? What legacy was I going to leave?

As I’ve written previously, I spent nearly seven weeks recuperating on a couch, which meant that I had a lot of time to ruminate. One of the things I uncovered was that there was a story buried inside of me. I have always been a reader – I love stories and storytelling and consider it a magical art. But I realized that I also wanted to create a story, to build a world and populate it. To take characters on a transformational journey and share the experience. So I started to transfer the story out of my head and into words. I took comic book writing courses and met a group of people with whom I co-founded an indie anthology, which debuted at New York Comic Con this past October.

The aptly named anthology group I co-founded.

Bully for me! Yes indeed, I have enough grit to follow my dreams.

But …

There are times when I think that I am out of my mind, to lay everything down on the line and try to make these dreams come true, especially in a fairly new industry to me. What if I fail? Does this make me a loser? I don’t report into an office any more, I don’t get a guaranteed paycheck, have had to let go of many things that don’t contribute to my forward movement and am now completely responsible for my own success. I wonder if people must think that I am a ne’er do well, reduced in their esteem because my decision has placed me in a more precarious financial position. In the middle of a recession too! Do you hear my knees knocking?

I love the quote above – because it’s true. To pursue your dreams is to take a risk. The fruit of one’s life requires a stretch. And many times it requires a sacrifice. But no one talks about how absolutely scary it is. When you think about pursuing your dreams, what fears come up for you? What feelings, judgments, criticisms come up for you?

At this moment, I do not have an easy solution for dealing with self-doubt. But I do realize that FEAR and self-doubt will walk the path with you… The next question will be: how do you make them your friends?

More to come.

And please feel free to share your experiences with befriending fear as you pursue your dreams.

Blessings!